ANNA AND THE BREXIT APOCALYPSE

In the sensational zom-com musical Anna and the Apocalypse, a schoolgirl (played by Ella Hunt) and her pals must fight for survival as civilisation collapses around their ears. It’s left to the younger generation to pick up the pieces, battling zombie hordes, stopping for an occasional musical number, and trying to save humankind. If this all sounds a little bit too much like Brexit for comfort, here’s a handy guide for what will happen when we crash out of the EU, using a few pointers from Anna and her gang to help us navigate the coming months...

What will happen to your neighbourhood?

There might have been dire warnings in the papers about what is going to happen after Brexit - giant rats prowling in the streets, children turning feral and setting fire to playgrounds, pensioners dressed in leather and driving too fast on mobility scooters, and, worst of all, no recycling collections on a Wednesday. If things are a little chaotic outside your front door - do what Anna does in the film - just ignore it and carry on with your day.

Will kids still have to go to school?

Sorry to report, school will continue as normal. When we say ‘as normal’, school kids will have to attend, but lessons might be a little different. For example, the headmaster, due to all the stress of Brexit chaos, might not be his usual self. He’ll look the same, and sound more or less the same, but there’s a good chance he has become completely unhinged, worrying as he is that Brexit will lead to the cancellation of a parent-teacher night booked for early June.

Will there be food in the supermarkets?

No use taking any chances - your best bet is to get three or four trolleys and load up on