I dunno… You wait ages for one film about a badass heroine fighting against hordes of satanists, whilst simultaneously dealing with feelings of guilt from unavoidably abandoning their younger sister to an uncertain fate… and then two pop up in less than a week! What are the chances? Pretty good when you have boneheaded studio execs in charge of the release schedule, it seems. While the films are tonally light years apart, Ready or Not 2 and They Will Kill You share a strikingly similar synopsis. We’ve already reviewed RoN2, and it's enjoyable malarkey, too. Maybe not as good as the first film, but still an entertaining romp with a striking duo of female leads. So, what of TWKY? It comes from Russian writer/director Kirill Sokolov, who previously made the chaotic comedy/horror Why Don’t You Just Die? in 2018. A film which secured the attention of Patricia Arquette and led to this project becoming the first original movie from Andy and Barbara (IT) Muschietti's new production company, Nocturna. It has a pretty eclectic cast with Zazie Beetz in the main role, with Tom (“Draco Malfoy”) Felton, Heather (“Never Ages” … not a film… just an observation) Graham, and Arquette as the devilish antagonists. Filmed in Cape Town SA (standing in for the Big Apple), the film is now opening in cinemas across the UK and the US. It has stiff competition in the attention-seeking game, though, not only with RoN2, but also the family-friendly juggernauts of Project Hail Mary and The Super Mario Galaxy Movie. Don’t expect box office longlegs. Aside from that, is it a killer or just filler?

 

The story starts with a flashback (be prepared for a few of those) with Asia Reaves (Beetz) and her younger sister fleeing their abusive father. After a violent standoff at a convenience store, Asia is sentenced to 10 years in the chokey, whilst her sister is returned to the family home. After getting out of prison, Asia then applies for a job as a maid in a swanky New York apartment block known as “The Virgil” (modelled after the metropolitan building in “Rosemary’s Baby”), using an assumed identity. There’s a reason for all this chicanery, as Asia is seeking her long-lost sister who is rumoured to have taken a job there. This primary objective is challenged within hours as the ex-jailbird is confronted in her room by a group of pig-masked psychos, who aren’t there to give her an onboarding schedule. So, it’s a good job that prison taught her how to fight like a ninja. It’s just a pity that a Faustian deal means that these jokers are hard to kill… and the building is full of rich assholes with the same agreement. Game on!

 

The first thing to note about TWKY is that it is exceptionally silly. Very silly. Monty Python-levels of silliness. In fact, Tom Felton quotes Python at one point (“’Tis but a flesh wound”). The second thing to note is that the proceedings are very much style over dramatic substance, and you won’t remember any nuances or clever narrative swerves. It’s an “Itchy and Scratchy” cartoon come to life. Your perception of those two notations, along with your willingness to have an unpretentious blast with a hell of a lot of frivolity (tempered with no small amount of fondness for horror and other genres), will ultimately affect how much you enjoy this movie. Some people will have an eyeroll spasm at all the slo-mo and Tarantino-esque touches, whereas other people will whoop at the (literal) geysers of blood from sliced bodies and laugh at the best eyeball sequence since Evil Dead 2. Yes, it’s an unashamed mess of styles and homages, but it’s all presented with such frantic passion and unswerving violence that you can’t help but ignore the faults and roll with the punches in sheer delight.

 

To get an idea of the eclectic mixture of imagery and plot. Imagine Tarantino decided to film a personal version of Rosemary’s Baby or Suspiria, but in the style of a Spaghetti Western and with an indie soundtrack… then decided to throw some parodies of “Evil Dead” and his own Kill Bill saga in there. Nutty? Certainly. Inspired? Perhaps. Boring or pretentious? Never! Sokolov takes the opportunity to throw in all manner of cinematic tricks to liven up the already lively carnage. Needless zooms into the faces of characters, eccentric musical choices that range from street rap to mariachi melodies, and gorgeously choreographed fights with spinning cameras and slowed-down demises. Beetz dominates the film with an athletic and confident poise that (somehow) becomes a combination of Jason Statham and Milla Jovovich. If she ever wants to get her own action franchise, a showreel from this film should swing it. Whether she’s punching out a young boy (he deserves it!) or using a bookcase to extract an impaled weapon, she absolutely rocks the role and makes for a funky hero.

 

By contrast, some of the supporting cast do what they can with the limited material, but aren’t given much opportunity to dominate any scene, beyond physically tussling with Beetz. Felton hams it up as the token English villain, but Graham literally only has a handful of lines, despite some neat pratfalls and comical wounds. Arquette is wonderfully engaging as the aloof superintendent and watchable (especially during some of the bonkers scenes at the end), but we have to discuss that accent! We think she’s supposed to be an Irish immigrant, but she appears to have spent a notable amount of time in Scotland, Wales, Scandinavia, and the Bronx, judging by her erratic accent that changes in every scene! It’s distracting, but given just how eccentric the film is generally, it doesn’t ruin things. Just makes them even weirder. The general Kill Bill-alike swagger, laced with Manga sensibilities, of the narrative allows it to cover up the shallowness of the proceedings and most unlikely occurrences. It really is the epitome of style over substance (something which has drawn the ire of many mainstream critics), but when it’s this fun and dynamic, who cares?

 

How many films have you seen lately where a headless body mimes the act of fornication in order to give a fellow baddie urgent information regarding the location of the hero? Exactly. This is the level of madness and subtlety that we’re dealing with here. For all its shortcomings (and Arquette’s accent), this is why the thing is so damned enjoyable (from my perspective anyway, and people will likely disagree). There are some standout sequences for fans of gory mayhem, easily on par with any of the “splatstick” from any of the Evil Dead movies. It’s not 15 minutes into the movie before Asia is set upon by the satanists (all the events happen over the course of one night), and things get extremely violent. Limbs are hacked off, bodies are decapitated, and people aren’t just stabbed… they’re STABBED!! The cartoony gore, which still only earns it a “15” rating in the UK because it’s so unrealistic, is immense. Bodies don’t bleed; they expel vast amounts of blood in a high-pressure fountain of red liquid, like an 80s video nasty. The fact that there’s an extra plot detail (which we won’t spoil, but you can probably guess from the trailer footage) means that this needless amount of violence can be repeated a number of times. Not to mention (yet again) that superb ambulatory eyeball!

 

This stylish approach to the minimalist plot provides a good time for the audience if they’re willing to accept the insanity. Of special note is Asia's opening one-room rampage, the ballroom battle (where burning bodies gradually illuminate a darkened space), and the final confrontation. It helps that there’s a lot of visual imagination on display here that will get a nod of approval from those who appreciate invention. An ideal example is the slow-motion leap across a room, using furniture as a means of protection and projection, before bisecting a character with a burning axe. It feels like it takes over a minute to watch that sequence; it’s spoiled by the trailer, and it’s completely unnecessary, but…*chef’s kiss*. There are also plenty of camera spins, zooms, and pans to go with the hits, as well as some effective imagery. Note the unexpected pathos of a single tear floating up from the eye of a character falling a great depth. The generous nods to other horror movies create goodwill as well. There’s an intriguing manifestation of Old Nick that works surprisingly well and is an intentional nod to Lord of the Flies. As mentioned before, the building is a nod to Rosemary’s Baby and is designed in levels of debauchery like Dante’s Inferno (although this concept is sadly underused). It does mean the upper level is frosty, and it’s got a floor devoted to perversity, so there’s that.

 

For all those eccentricities and shortcomings, we’ve still given this a high score, and it’s marked above the recent Ready or Not 2. Because it’s just so damned good looking, it makes an action hero of Beetz, it’s massively gory, and it’s a real crowd-pleaser (as long as you’re in a crowd of sickos like us). Yes, it is very much style over substance, and you’re unlikely to remember plot details as soon as you’ve left the cinema. But you will remember a slowed-down Beetz busting some moves and some more of the outrageous visuals. You won’t learn anything new from the movie, except perhaps that 10 years in a US women's prison can train you to fight like Alan Ritchson, but you will have a good time. Again, sadly, this looks like it won’t be a bigger deal at the box office and will likely disappear from screens after a couple of weeks. But we (well, I) had a lot of fun with it and predict that it will become a streaming hit later this year. So there. Now, Beetz it!