The fear of AI didn’t start with Skynet stomping on skulls in The Terminator. We’ve been shitting ourselves about supercomputers far longer than that in the cinematic multiverse. Think of sci-fi horror like Gog (1954), Demon Seed (1977), Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970), and (of course) HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). This form of technophobia has crept into modern genre movies with more recent stuff like M3gan and the fact that so many people have let Alexa, Siri, et al into their homes and influence their lives. So here’s Blumhouse again, somewhat predictably foisting more PG-13 horror onto a currently relevant subject and seeing what sticks to the wall. This film was originally called They Listen, rather creepily invoking the idea of AI systems snooping on your business. With that inventive and better title effectively kicked to the curb, it was retitled Afraid… sorry, AfrAId (bloody film marketing) and after several pushbacks (a whole year from the original screening date) it has been unceremoniously dumped onto the dying Summer release schedule in UK and US theatres. Starring John Cho (who was so good in Searching and the second season of The Exorcist TV series) and Katherine Waterson (Alien: Covenant), it also features some familiar genre faces like David Dastmalchian (Late Night with the Devil) and others. Written and directed by Chris Weitz, it comes to us via Blumhouse and Columbia and is hoping to distract viewers from smartphones long enough to score a few bucks at the box office.

 

It starts with an Alexa-like bot whispering surreptitious stuff to a child on her tablet, whilst her parents are likewise distracted on their own personal devices. This seems to end in something nasty happening and the family apparently disappearing. So we move on to Curtis (Cho) and Meredith (Waterston), with their children, each of whom (*sigh*) has modern-day issues directly related to today’s technology. Iris (Lukita Maxwell) is getting the inevitable dick pics from her boyfriend, which threatens to descend into deep-fake footage and revenge porn. Preston (Wyatt Lindner) has anxiety issues and is unable to connect to friends IRL. Cal just wants to play “Minecraft” but may have other underlying issues. Curtis works for a marketing company and is approached by some eccentric tech gurus who want to demonstrate their new smart home AI called… err, “AIA” (Cool name, guys). This Alexa-alike is startingly intelligent and reacts to interactions with human-like savvy. Curtis is sweet-talked into installing it in his home, where it quickly ingratiates itself to each member of the household until it seems to become a little overprotective and potentially murderous.

 

As feared (hah!) from the preview-less release and lack of general confidence around the film, Afraid isn’t great. There’s an element of promise in some aspects of the story and it couldn’t be more relevant if it tried. And paradoxically, that’s the main part of the problem with it. It feels like someone has gone online and just picked out a grab bag of the most prolific IT scares. A technophobes top-ten if you will. Worried about your daughter being the victim of sextortion? Got that story arc right here. Scared that your children are being radicalised online? It’s got you covered. Terrified that some Q-Anon asshole is going to stitch you up as a child abductor with no evidence? Say no more. The core of the story is even tied into that old chestnut about the Microsoft chatbot being turned into an insane racist after experiencing the full impact of the Internet! Seriously. It’s like all those click-bait articles on your news feed have been turned into a linked storyline. It would be fine if it hung together as a coherent or chilling experience, but it doesn’t.

 

It doesn’t help that the film isn’t the least bit scary. The trailer hinted at some phantasmagorical content, but that is entirely missing. The only things that approach anything near creepy are the occasional AI animations and imagery (used in context and unlikely to upset anyone this time), which exploit the “uncanny valley” phenomena to good effect. However, those are mostly visual cheats and the “horror” element is down to conspiracy-theory shenanigans and real-world home invasions. Suffice to say that you’ll never squirm in your seat or slide towards the edge of it. The tone and dialogue of the film swerves all over the place as well. Characters will say typically PG-rated dumb stuff for the most part, then get curiously over-dramatic about events, and then launch into techno-dribble diatribes about things. Case in point, within one minute of meeting a complete stranger, Curtis seems to have a mini-breakdown and launches into a long monologue about the way that fatherhood changes a person. Comes out of nowhere and it’s purely for exposition and later events. WTF dude? You’ve just met the woman! See a therapist.

 

That kind of weird tonal zig-zag is indicative of much of the plot. We get AIA being nice, then being naughty, and most of the cast seem to be caught off-guard with how to react to events. At least with M3gan and the Child’s Play remake, you were left in no doubt as to the fun exploitation elements and the campy horror. Here, we have smart cars being driven off the road followed by a soulful recreation of a dead relative. Speaking of which, Waterson is surprisingly committed to the proceedings here, making some of the dafter moments somewhat more believable and responding to the more emotional moments with conviction. She stands out because of this, as everybody else just seems resigned to their character’s outcomes and just go through the motions. Both Cho and Dastmalchian are hugely underused here. For reasons too wacky to explain here, Havana Rose Liu plays two “characters”, as she voices AIA as well another person in the narrative (where she bizarrely comes off as much more charismatic when in AIA mode, which may be intentional).

 

Aside from Waterston and Liu’s contributions, it’s only the merest hint of some good ideas that carry the narrative to a somewhat unsatisfactory conclusion. There’s a wonderfully grim subtext that humankind is already well beyond screwed, due to its wilful misuse of technology and the amount of bad behaviour that it encourages. There are not many films where the utilisation of “swatting” on a stolen phone is a major plot point. If there’s a message to take from it all, is that we’d better hope that the online God that we inevitably create turns out to be a mostly benevolent deity, and not some vengeful git into Old Testament retribution when we disappoint it. Wise thoughts, we think you’ll agree. Aside from that, it’s hard to see what the point of this venture was. It’s not scary and it lacks tension. It’s more like a finger-wagging exercise to get you to chuck your smartphone out the window and your Alexa speaker into the fire. Fat chance.

 

Giving credit where it’s due though. This does have one of the best uses of the thou-shalt-have-but-one-F-bomb-in-the-script-for-a-PG-rating in recent memory. It also suggests that AI algorithms are just the worst, by showing them to recommend The Emoji Movie of all things! Subtle, it ain’t. So there are some things to say, but they’re done in such a heavy-handed or obvious way, that it misses the target or provokes an eye-roll. In addition to this, some things just don’t make sense. The twist about the masked individuals at the end is almost clever, but it’s still impractical and poses more questions. As does the very final scenes, which are likely to send most people home with a “whatever” shrug. More disappointing PG fare from Blumhouse, we’re “afraid”. Let’s hope M3gan 2.0 and Soulm8te are definite upgrades.